9 weeks

I never did get around to getting any photos taken of myself since I posted the last one a couple of weeks ago. The light will be bad when Nathan gets home tonight. So, I’ll have him take one tomorrow morning.

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I need to not wait until I’m miserably sick to take my medicine. I had a bad night on Wednesday and that was enough for me. So, I’m taking my pill(s) first thing in the morning and then again in the afternoon if I think I might need them. Yesterday was so much better when I followed that routine. I think I’ll stick with it and hope I wont need more than a couple more refills.

Some of my early pregnancy bloating has settled down a little and I’ve lost a little weight from being sick. I’m down about 3 pounds from where I was when we found out we were expecting. One of my books says that the baby is about the size of a medium sized olive right now. I love how they always use food to describe the size of the baby.

My first OB appointment is scheduled for December 16. I’ll be about 12 1/2 weeks then so it shouldn’t be a problem to hear the heart beat. They also do a full physical work-up and take lots of blood at that appointment. I think it’s the longest of all the OB appointments that I typically have. The other ones are real quick unless I have questions.

I’m planning to finish some laundry today. Nathan has been working hard at keeping up with house stuff while I’m sick. Now that I’m feeling a little better, I hope to take some of that load back.

Feeling a little better

I’m still feeling a little better. Thank you for praying. I’m still getting sick, but I’m not feeling overwhelmingly sick all day long. Food actually looks kind of good to me. Now, I’m just trying to figure out the right amount to eat so I don’t get sick.

Monday night was week 10 of the Daniel Bible study that I’m in. We’ve learned so much. I’m very proud of all the women who are persevering and doing the homework. Last night, I told them all that we’re having a baby. When we prayed at the end of the study a couple of the women prayed for me and it was such a blessing. I was really touched. It means so much to have that kind of support.

In other very exciting news, we’re going on a little “vacation”! I had been eyeing deals online in hopes that Nathan and I could go somewhere to get away. We had wanted to do something for our 5th anniversary, but we never got around to planning anything. After finding some pretty good deals for flights and hotels to go somewhere south, I decided to look at options closer to home so that all 4 of us could go together. So, very soon, we are going to the Great Wolf Lodge in Wisconsin Dells.

It will be perfect for Ethan and Audrey. The indoor waterpark is included in the cost of staying there and has lots of things appropriate for young kids. It is a balmy 84 degrees! There is a storytime for kids at night- the kids come in their jammies and get a story before bed!

Feeling a little blue

Our whole family was ready to head out the door to a birthday party tonight and I ended up sending them all and staying home. My tummy was hurting. I’ve got a nasty combination of things that are causing my digestive system to practically shut down: pregnancy naturally slows it down so you can absorb more nutrients, I have a tendency to have irritable bowel trouble, I’m having a hard time handling fluids without feeling sick so I’m probably a little dehydrated, and my medicine that I’m taking for nausea also causes tummy troubles. Fun times. That was probably too much information, but that’s my reality right now. Believe me, I could have shared much more. I’m showing restraint!
This has been really hard emotionally. I feel bad admitting this, but I’m definitely experiencing moments when I wonder if it’s worth it. I know that sounds awful. I’m only 8 weeks along and the end seems so far away. Please pray for my physical and emotional strength.

Belly kissing

Ethan kisses my stomach many times a day. He wants to kiss “the baby” and he says that s/he can feel it! Isn’t that sweet? I told Audrey that there was a baby in my belly and she lifted up my shirt and looked at my tummy and looked at me like I had mislead her. I don’t think she believed me.

Audrey can say, “Ethan”! She is in the habit of saying “E-E”, but I heard her and asked her to say it and she did! She also was able to use her new skill of singing “Happy Birthday” on Daddy’s actual birthday yesterday. She has also been walking around the house in her winter boots (from last winter). She loves to pull them on and walk around saying, “boots” and “silly”.

Ethan has been a bit naughty lately. I thought you might appreciate this most recent gem that he shared with me:
“Don’t worry. I still love you even when I’m naughty.” In other words, “I love you so I can do what I want”. Ahh, the logic of a 3 1/2 year old. I love him so much though. The Sunday School teacher at Hope on Sunday said that he was such a joy and that he was sharing things and hugging the other kids. He has some sweetness in him.

Round 3

After Christmas last year, Nathan and I started thinking that we would like to have another baby. It just seemed like we wanted one more at the dinner table. A few weeks later my mom passed away. In the trauma of that experience, I started to think I did not want to have a baby without my mom here. It was already a hard thing to grasp that Audrey will not remember my mom, but at least she had some experiences with her. So, we became quite happy and content with Ethan and Audrey.

We were happy to enjoy sleeping through the night, not having to carry kids everywhere, being able to go to the park and being able to just sit and watch without being worried that they would trip and fall or get stuck on the top of the slide and not want to come down. And we could go places in the evening with them and not worry about having to be back for 7:00 bedtime.

Later in the summer, I started taking antidepressants. Because of the way they interacted with my system, we had a short time when we thought we might be pregnant. When we found out that we weren’t, I thought I would be relieved, but instead, Nathan and I were sad. We decided that we weren’t “done” after all. One month later, I found out I was pregnant.

So, yes, this baby was planned. And, yes, we know how “these things happen”! 🙂

The day I found out we were having another baby, was the day of Audrey’s 2 year check-up. I mentioned it to our doctor. She got out her little wheel and said that my due date would be June 27. I mentioned my fear of a precipitous labor again (my entire labor with Audrey was only 1 1/2 hours). After asking how far we lived from the hospital, she said if I could make it to 37 weeks (I didn’t make it that far with the first two), she would induce me so I don’t have to worry about delivering on the side of the road. So, I guess this little one will arrive closer to my birthday at the beginning of the month.

We were planning to keep the news to ourselves until after Thanksgiving. The one major problem with that plan is that I have been very sick. For the last 2 weeks, I’ve been hardly able to function. My doctor did give me a prescription, but it’s pretty expensive medicine. I’m supposed to take 1-2 pills every 6 hours as needed. I’m trying to ration them, but the one day I didn’t take them, I ended up spending the day kneeling on the floor in the bathroom. I don’t know how women can keep their pregnancy news secret when they are that sick. I didn’t want to have to come up with silly excuses! Even though I’ve been sick, my body very much remembers how to look pregnant and my digestive system has completely shut down, so my clothes are starting to be uncomfortable. I’ll post pictures for your viewing pleasure later!

The other reason we really wanted to share our news is that we need your prayer support. Having two previous high risk pregnancies and missing my mom makes this an emotional time. If you have never experienced a high risk pregnancy, let alone two of them, I’m sure it would be easy to think that I’m a wimp who is too worried. We’re praying that we wont be plagued with anxiety, but that we would have a peace while being able to recognize when I need to take it easy. So, please pray for us and give us the benefit of the doubt if you’re around and I need to sit down for a little while.

Thanks for being excited for us. I hope this answers some of your questions.

Baby

So tired today. I didn’t sleep much because I couldn’t stop thinking about Erica and wondering if the baby was born yet. I’m sure my exhaustion is nothing compared to Erica’s!
Still waiting anxiously to hear. We can’t wait to see her.

Motherhood- Expectations vs. Reality

It all started before I got pregnant.

I thought that being pregnant would be fun and that I had visions of myself in cute maternity clothes and the only extra weight on me would be baby weight. I was going to look like this.

When I was pregnant. I didn’t look like that. I looked like this.

Not only did I not just gain weight in my belly, but I seemed to have put a lot of it on my backside. That last picture was taken less than a week before I had Audrey. I was 36w, 1d.

And then in all my dreams about bringing my baby home for the first time, I never imagined this.

One of the biggest things I’ve experienced is that parenting brings out the best and worst in me. It’s not like any stressor that I’ve encountered. In the beginning, I kept thinking that life was going to go back to normal sometime and I’d be able to get my act together. But kids don’t go away for a long time! It’s taken me three years to wrap my brain aroun the idea that I have a new “normal” now.

So much about parenting is looking forward to the next milestone- sleeping through the night, crawling, walking, eating on their own, potty training. . . It’s easy to wish away the moment you’re in right now- time never moves so slowly as when you’re listening to a crying baby or whining toddler! I’ve been looking back at some pictures of my “reality” and thinking about how much better it has been than I ever imagined. That makes up for not having the pregnancy or delivery I dreamed about! And since I’m taking a walk down memory lane, how ’bout some old pictures? These aren’t all related, but I thought they would be fun to throw in.

Mom holding Brian. He was born at 29 weeks.

Nana holding Ethan when he was 3 months old. His first trip to Chetek.

Me and Brian in “Dad’s chair”