Nathan and I have been going through the new-comers class (called Discovery) at our church. Last Sunday, as the pastor was wrapping up his portion of the class, he asked if anyone had questions. I’m pretty sure my husband got nervous when I raised my hand.
I asked how often the Discovery classes were held. He said that the next one would be in August. That’s 3 months away. I plunged ahead with some thoughts I had. At this point, I was certain that Nathan was worried about what I would say.
The background on this is that we had waited almost 3 months to be a part of this Discovery class. For some church congregations this might work well. In the case of this church, it’s a bit more problematic. This particular church specifically does NOT have many things happening at the building where they meet for church. They really want people “being the church” outside of the church building. The way to connect with people is to go through the Discovery class and then be placed in a community group. We’ve spent three months attending this church and there have been almost no opportunities to get to know anyone.
So, I spoke up in class. I said that three months was a very long time to wait when you’re new to a community, don’t know anyone and are lonely. You know what? A good number of the people in the class with us agreed.
Here are some take-away questions I would love to hear your thoughts on:
1)What does your church do to reach out to those who are new?
2)What have you seen that works well or doesn’t work at all (this would vary by person, obviously!) to assimilate new people?
It’s going to be hard during the summer because alot of the church home groups and such quit for the summer. Being new is hard. It takes time to make friends. My suggestion is to find a ministry to serve in. Then you will get to know the people you serve with.
Well said, Merilee. I’ve found that you can get very lonely, even in church, waiting for other people to take the initiative to include you. Far better to volunteer to do something you enjoy or are good at and, basically, be the one to include yourself, rather than waiting for “them” to include you. I know it isn’t fair and life shouldn’t be that way. But it is. Even in church.
You’re both absolutely right about it being easier to include yourself by volunteering. I think the problem in this case is that you can’t volunteer for anything until you’ve gone through the discovery class.
That does limit you, doesn’t it? We went to a church kind of like that before, but we didn’t stay long. They wouldn’t let you do anything if you didn’t meet their very strict criteria regarding attendance, which was hard when we had 4 little kids.
AMy, You were wise to speak up and ask questions. You were brave to be the one to say the emperor isn’t wearing clothes! Hang in there, volunteer your talents, let them know what a terrific family you are. Maybe you can begin your own new member group….group by family age or interest or location, plan a unbirthday party for someone, celebrate a this is where we are from night, or Fun facts to know and tell about where we used to live or something. Love you, Aunt
Thank you, Jean!