I had the most fascinating conversation with my friend, Cheryl, a few months ago. It was about canning. What? That doesn’t sound fascinating to you? Bear with me here!
We were talking about expectations on moms/women and how, at one point in her life, it seemed like everyone around her was into canning. She convinced herself that it was something that she should be doing.
She brought it up because I had just mused that perhaps I should get a garden going and start canning.
So, she told me her story. I don’t remember the specifics, but I do remember the final outcome of her canning adventure. It didn’t work well. She no longer does canning. And, she’s fine with that. She’s confident in her non-canning self.
Do you know how freeing that was to me? I want to pass that freedom along to the rest of my friends. This is me standing on the mountain top exclaiming, “Put down your canning supplies*” It is possible to be a really cool (even frugal) woman without canning.
I’m going to step out on a limb and take this even farther. This might sound like blasphemy to some of you, but to others it will warm your soul. Here it is:
You can be a good mother even if you don’t scrapbook. Or crochet. Or blog. Or [fill in the blank].
What do you think? Have there been activities that felt you should be doing because of a role you play?
*If you happen to enjoy canning and find it helpful for your family, yeah for you! I’m happy for you and hope you have many years of canning enjoyment!
You are free!
LOL
You cracked me up this morning Amy–many many blessings to you as you find out what you DO want to do!!
I happen to love to can, and crochet, and occasionally scrapbook, but you know what, when you HAVE to do it to feel like you fit in, then that is when it is time to stop!
I love it! I do not scrapbook…but I am a good mom! For a long time I felt like I was failing as a mom for not spending hours scrapbooking. I made up for that by blogging
I also learned that it is okay to try new things, but to stick with those things that are enjoyable and work for me (just like you said). I never pictured myself as the homemade bread type of girl, but last Christmas I took a risk and bought a bread machine. I love it and use it all the time!! Who would have thought!?!
That is really funny. You newer (younger) moms must feel more expectations on you than my generation did. I never thought I had to can or garden or scrapbook or (fill in the blank) to be a good mom. I occasionally felt guilty because I couldn’t make a decent birthday cake. I do freeze a lot of things, but not because I felt it was expected of me – it was just the way I was brought up and I didn’t like things that weren’t frozen. Plus, it saved money and that was essential, not just expected!
I think blogging is the reason for all the expectations and resulting guilt – we never really knew what other moms were up to the way people do today.
Anyway, glad to hear you have thrown off the burden of guilt and are happier with who you are (which is a very nice person and good mom)