The adrenalin from this weekend is gone and I’ve completely crashed- emotionally and physically.
I’m feeling down and disappointed.
I prayed and prepared all week that we would all be healthy and rested for the wedding. When the day arrived we were all sick and tired (Isaac woke at 3:00 and Audrey at midnight screaming about having an accident on the floor in the bathroom). That wouldn’t have been that hard of a request to grant, God. I’m not sure what greater good it accomplished and I’m disappointed with you. Also, Ethan wants to know why his shots hurt even though he prayed they wouldn’t. I didn’t know what to say. I know the answers and I don’t like them. My friend, Catherine, called me before we left for Cottage Grove to say that she was praying everything would go well with the kids for the wedding. I really feel like God doesn’t care about me right now.
I celebrated Mother’s Day with no mom.
We married off my brother without my mom. I needed her there. We needed a “mom of the groom”. She would have known what to do and what to say. She would have told Brian how happy she was for him and how proud of him she was.
Isaac has been sick forever. He went from having the gatro-intestinal flu to having an infection and now he has a cold.
When do we get a break?
Tagged: questions
Amy, thank you for your comment. I jumped from that over here, and read about your weekend. I just want to tell you thank you for writing about this. It’s good to get it out, even if it doesn’t fix anything physically, I think it helps let go of something inside, emotionally. God wants us to be authentic people, and you are definitely doing this when you write this.
p.s. You rock at running. Way to go!
Thank you, Rachel!
Amy, I mean this in the most caring, loving way possible: Have you considered going on antidepressants?
Justin, when I first started dating him, was trying not to be medicated for his depression, but finally decided that it was the most healthy option for him. Knowing him both before and after he starting the medication, and seeing the effect when he ran out and we couldn’t get him more for a while, I understand how it looks from the outside and how significant a difference it can make having that chemical balance restored.
It was difficult for him to accept that he couldn’t fix this on his own somehow, by lifestyle changes or strength of will. But in the end, it’s a chemical imbalance that he restored by finding an appropriate medication.
Amy, I really don’t think you need to be as sad as it seems you are so often. I don’t think you need to feel so hopeless or helpless. And maybe I’m just not getting a complete picture through your blog and the few times we chat on the phone. But posts like this make me worry for you.
Think about it?
Love,
Kylene
I have a physical scheduled for next week and I will talk to my doctor about it.