Chapter 1- Remembering What We Wanted
There were two separate things that caught my attention in this chapter.
First, John says that he wishes someone had taken him aside a few weeks before getting married to tell him that, even though he and his bride were both fine people, that there would very soon come a point where they would have conflict and that-
God is going to use your marriage to get to issues in your life that he wants to address.
True words. And I like the reminder that marriage is hard–even in the best marriages. The problem with advice before the conflict is that no one actually thinks they are going to need it themselves. It’s certainly been true in my life that my “issues” have been magnified in my marriage. I’ve always struggled with developing healthy, close relationships. I’ve always wanted them, but I’ve never known exactly how to do it because I have a hard time allowing myself to be really open vulnerable. That would never cause any struggle in a marriage would it? 
I’ve learned to get beyond that a little in marriage, but it’s put a heavy burden on Nathan when he becomes the “one” person I feel safe with.
Second, I’ve been thinking about the question, “What was it you wanted when you first fell in love?”
I think the answer for me is that I wanted to be “chosen”. I wanted someone to see me, fall in love with me, and pursue me. And I dreamed of a husband who would adore me, provide for me and protect me. And he would do the “heavy lifting”- fix things that needed fixing, provide our primary income, and lead our family spiritually. Now that I type that out, I remember conversations in our premarriage counseling about what our expectations would be for roles and tasks in our home and family. I think it would be great fun to get that list out again (6 1/2 years later) and see how things have actually played out.
*you can find Nathan’s thoughts here.
The book sounds like a good one I am going to ask Missy id We should read it together as well