It’s been a while since I really talked about anything of substance. I’m not sure where to begin.

I’ve been all over the place emotionally. There have been a number of things that have been stressful. Two weeks ago, I spent almost 20 minutes crying at my Bible study. Someone questioned one of my answers to a personal question (you know the kind where you just give your opinion on something?). I was in such a crazy mental state that I started crying and I couldn’t stop. It was seriously one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever experienced. I had all I could do to keep myself from sobbing out loud. It was that bad. I’m not exaggerating. I considered leaving the room, but I thought the women would think my feelings were hurt and that I was mad at them. I just sat there silently with tears streaming down my face. The crying really had more to do with everything else I had been thinking about and not the Bible study.

I considered not going back because I was so mortified. Nathan convinced me otherwise. We had a praise and prayer night instead of our regular study. It was good to be there. I was able to have a good conversation and some prayer with one woman in particular. It was really encouraging.

I’ve been running using the Couch to 5k program. This is week 5 of the 9 week program. I have one more run this week and I’m looking forward to the challenge. My eating has been horrible though. We had lots of sweets leftover from Audrey’s party and I should have just thrown them out. Instead, I grazed on them for several days before dumping them. So, the running has been good, but if I don’t get my eating under control, I wont be losing any weight. I plan to change that starting now. Surely, I can eat pizza tonight without stuffing myself (right, Nathan?). Oh, and Nathan has been inspired to run too. This is week 1 for him. I haven’t talked to him about it, but maybe I should spend the month of October blogging about our eating and exercise. That would be a good way to stay accountable. Hmmmmm….

Ethan has started AWANA again. He is a Cubby again this year. I think he’s enjoying it. I’m so proud of him. It’s so great to hear him learn Bible verses. Audrey has participated a little here at home. It seems like Ethan was just a baby and now he’s playing PlayStation games, reciting Bible verses, adoring his baby brother and asking me (while he is sitting on the toilet) to pray that his bottom will feel better.

I listened to a fabulous sermon online yesterday.It was by Andy Stanley and I guess it was the first one in his “Your Move” series. It was titled “Really”. It was about questions you should ask yourself before making a big decision. I think there will be 4 sermons and 4 questions. This particular sermon was about asking, “Am I being completely honest with myself?” or “Why am I really doing this?”. There is a link here. Click on “Your Move” and then select “listen”. It gave me a lot to think about.

I mentioned earlier that Isaac had been cranky. He has been crying while I’m nursing him. I borrowed a scale and have been weighing him before and after I nurse him. It seems like he is getting roughly half of what he needs. I feel kind of like a failure when it comes to nursing. I don’t understand how it can be so easy for everyone else. It’s supposed to be supply and demand. Well, when Isaac isn’t getting the milk he needs, he doesn’t work for more. He just cries. That doesn’t help increase the milk supply and I’ve decided that I’m not going to spend the time nursing, then bottling and then pumping every three hours. It’s too much with 3 children. So, I’m nursing and then giving Isaac a few ounces of formula each time. Isaac has been like a different baby the last 2 days. He is so happy. Having his belly full has made a huge difference. He’s content, playing better, not needing to be held as much and he’s napping better. He even slept for 9 hours last night.

That’s the update for now. I hope you all have a great weekend.