Today was so hard. Isaac really doesn’t ever want to be put down. I guess I need to put him down and listen to him scream or resign myself to finding some sort of carrier that he will tolerate. At only 4 weeks old, I don’t know that letting him cry is going to work or if it’s even a good idea. He doesn’t seem to wear out. He’s tired and needs to sleep, but if I lay him down and leave him, once he starts crying, he can’t seem to figure out how to stop. The sling that I have really hurts my neck and shoulder after a while. And I’m not sure if, when he’s crying, he’s just hungry again and I start wondering if he is getting enough milk from me.
Also, Ethan has been horrible. Imagine him being naughty and mutiply it by about a thousand. If we take away a priviledge because he’s been disobedient, he gets sassy, talks back and has even tried to physically hurt Nathan. This was starting before Isaac arrived. I don’t know that it has anything to do with having a new baby. I was trying to talk to him today about how he can do good things to earn some priviledges back, but he just told me that he was naughty because I had taken those things away. I’ll try again tomorrow.
Nathan used his last vacation day for this fiscal year to come home and help me today. I shouldn’t feel guilty since the year will be over at the end of the month (this week), but I can’t help but feel like a failure since I can’t take care of the kids on my own.
